Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
by Bunko
Summary: This was technically made up by Christina but i asked her if it was okay and she agreed. i added some things but it is still funny. i know it is a play and im sorry. im sorry if this offends you but it isn't that bad.


Harry Potter

and the

Sorcerer's Stone

Narrator: Once upon a time there was an orphan named Harry Potter. He was the seeker on his school's Quidditch team.

Harry Potter: I'm going to catch the golden snitch!

Narrator: He had two best friends: Ron Weasley...

Ron Weasley: Hello, I'm Ron.

Narrator: and Hermione Granger.

Hermione Granger: I'm going to bed before either of you come up with another idea to get us killed or worse...expelled.

Narrator: The three of them were always getting into trouble. One day, they came upon a door that was blocked off.

Hermione: I don't think we should go in there.

Ron: Oh hush up, Hermione!

Narrator: So they all walked through the passage way. They heard someone coming.

Harry: Run!

Narrator: So they ran to a door at the end of the corridor. There was a door there.

Harry: It's locked!

Ron: That's it. Filch is going to kill us.

Hermione: Oh, move over you two. _Alohomora!_

Ron: Wicked!

Narrator: As they walked in, they heard something snoring and a faint harp playing in the background.

Ron: Bloody hell! It's a three-headed dog!

Harry: Look...a trapdoor! Something is down there! Shall we have a look?

Hermione: We shouldn't. What if it's You-Know-Who?

Ron: Oh hush up, Hermione. Let's go!

Narrator: They jumped down into a pile of what felt like plants.

Ron: It's eating me!

Hermione: It's Devil Snare. We have to relax or else it might strangle us!

Ron: AHHHHHHH!

Harry: I'm sinking! Help me!

Hermione: Me too!

Narrator: Suddenly, Harry and Hermione fell through. Ron was the only one left.

Ron: Harry? Hermione? AHHHHH!

Narrator: Hermione said.

Hermione: He's not relaxing is he?

Harry: Apparently not.

Hermione: Stop panicking!

Ron: Where are you? AHHHHHHHHHH!

Hermione: Oh, what was that thing we learned in Herbology?

Harry: Honestly Hermione. Do you really think I know?

Ron: AHHH!

Hermione: Devil Snare, Devil Snare...I've got it! Devil Snare hate sunlight! _Solei Incantarto!_

Narrator: A beam of sunlight shines down and Ron is released from the plants vines.

Ron: Whew! Good thing we didn't panic.

Harry: Good thing Hermione pays attention in Herbology.

Ron: Yeah. Thanks.

Narrator: As they continued down the corridor, they saw what looked like a life-size game of chess.

Ron: This is a chess board! Hermione, you take the rook, Harry, you take the bishop, and me, I'll be a knight.

Hermione: Ron? Is this going to be like real wizards chess?

Ron: Well, lets find out. Pawn to E5.

Narrator: The pawn. suddenly moved. Then it was the other sides turn. The queen pulled out her sword and smashed the pawn into thousands of pieces.

Ron: Yes, Hermione, I believe it's going to be exactly like wizards chess.

Narrator: They continued to play the game. Then Ron had a worried look on his face. Both Harry and Hermione realized what he was about to do.

Hermione: No, Ron, you can't!

Harry: There's got to be another way!

Ron: This is the only was we can win! Harry, Hermione and I aren't meant to go on. You are. Whenever the queen takes me, you'll be in place to check the king. Knight to B5.

Narrator: The knight slowly slid to its space. Then the queen once again pulled out her sword and swung at the knight. Ron fell off the horse and laid there silent. Hermione almost ran to Ron when Harry said...

Harry: No! We're still playing the game.

Narrator: Harry took three steps and said...

Harry: Checkmate!

Narrator: The King's sword fell and they had won!

Harry: Hermione, you take Ron to the hospital wing.

Hermione: Do be careful Harry.

Narrator: And then they departed. Harry continued down the corridor. Then he saw a mirror in the middle of a pit. He walked towards the mirror.

Harry: This is the mirror that Dumbledore was telling me about. It's the one that shows what you desire.

Narrator: Then a shadowy figure began to approach Harry.

Harry: Who is that? gasps Professor Quirrell?

Professor Quirrell: Hello Harry. Oh, you weren't expecting to see me?

Harry: But Snape...

Prof. Quirrell: Yes, he does seem the type doesn't? But who would suspect s-s-s-stuttering P-P-P-Professor Quirrell?

Narrator: Then Harry heard a raspy voice.

Voice: Let me speak to him.

Quirrell: Master you are not strong enough.

Voice: Let me speak to the boy.

Narrator: Harry's scare started to hurt really bad. Professor Quirrell unwrapped his turban. In the mirror, Harry saw something that appeared to be a face on the back of his Professors bald head. Harry knew that it was Lord Voldemort.

Lord Voldemort: Where is the stone boy?

Harry: I don't know. I'm not all seeing.

Prof. Quirrell: Look in the mirror Potter.

Narrator: Harry gazed into the mirror and saw his reflection pull the stone out of his pocket. He slowly grabbed his pocket. The stone was in his pocket!

Lord V.: What do you see?

Harry: I'm shaking hands with Dumbledore. I've just won the house cup.

Lord V. : HE LIES! The stone is in his pocket!

Narrator: Harry draws his wand and yells...

Harry: _Expelliarmus!_

Narrator: That didn't stop Voldemort. He approached Harry, and attempted to strangle him. As Harry tried to push him back, his hands appeared to be burning his professor face. Then Quirrell turned to dust, but Voldemort's spirit flew out and Harry fell back and laid there unconscious. He woke up and found Dumbledore sitting by his bedside.

Dumbledore: Hello Harry.

Harry: What happened?

Dumbledore: Well, whatever happened between you, Voldemort, and Professor Quirrell. So, naturally, the whole school knows.

Harry: It was Professor Quirrell. My hands burned his skin. How is that possible.

Dumbledore: Harry, your mother died saving your life. That is the greatest spell anyone could cast and Professor Quirrell couldn't handle that magic. It was her love that saved your life. You saved everyone. I'm very proud of you.

Narrator: Harry reunited with Ron and Hermione. What was in store for their second year? They weren't even sure, but they didn't want to find out.


End file.
